Happy Holidays!

Hooray! Its almost Christmas! Anyone else excited? Im thrilled, as this is the first time in a few years that the Christmas spirit has finally tinkled on me!

But that means cookies, chocolate, pie, and since Im Italian – Cioppino! Actually, that last one is delicious and fairly low in calories, unless you were to count the wine that flows freely with that meal, but I digress.

So hows my diet going you ask? Good question. Meh. Thats my answer. Im not losing, Im not gaining. So maybe thats a little better than meh. But I guess thats what I get for being that dumbshit that goes on a diet right before the fun gets started.

Ive been sticking to my meal replacement shake for breakfast and sometimes for lunch. Ive been snacking, not entirely on veggies, but on cookies and chocolate. Im proud that I havent eaten those snacks to excess like I have the past…twenty something years. Ill have three or four pieces of candy compared to downing the whole bag until Im sick and hate myself. But the sugar hound in me is still feigning. Most days I go over my allotted calories but its not by much. But Im making better meal choices, chewing slower, and I stop eating when Im full.

So Im going to keep trucking through the year with a sense of decorum. Being from a big Italian/German family, eating is bonding, and laughter is the center of our household. Im not going to deprive myself of the holiday treats that I love so much, but Im not going to go overboard. Because I refuse to let myself be miserable while everyone around me is laughing, drinking, and eating.

So with that being said, I wish you all a Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year. Be safe, hug your family and friends and tell them how much you love them.

Wishing you well

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Cravings Suck

Guh! Cravings are a bitch! And yesterday was the worst! My inner hangry hippo was in full fledge rage mode.

All I wanted was Taco Bell, but my stupid, amazing husband wouldnt let me get some. (God bless him) Instead he took me to the grocery store where we bought healthy veggies, kimchi, some sourdough bread and spinach dip. So instead of cheating on my diet, I had a decent, although fairly high (but still in my range) caloric meal. It wasnt Taco Bell, but it was mighty tasty. As good of food as I had, the portion was probably too much, but I didnt go over my allotted calories for the day, and I would definitely call that a win!

I logged my emotions throughout the evening and it was clear that what I was feeling had an effect on my eating/craving urges. I was in a blah mood with a constant dull headache all day and food was all I could think about. My lady time should be showing up in the next four to five days and I was trying to smother the evil demon bitch that lives inside me from coming out and lashing at anyone who dared cross my path. Being nice can be exhausting.

So, all in all, yesterday was a success regardless of my cravings.This is one of the first times in history that I can remember not giving into the things I wanted to eat. I hated it at the time, but Im grateful today for my choices and the unwavering support of my husband.

This morning my scale said 299.8lbs! Im officially (albeit barely) out of the 300 range and hope to never see that number below me again.

Thats all for now! Ill check back in when I hit the 5lb weight loss mark or I find that I have something really important to say.

Scale of Wonders

To weigh or not to weigh? That is the question.

Today Im going to explain why I weigh myself everyday…yes EVERY single day. I wake up and lift my pretty, sleepy head off the pillow, go to the bathroom to do my business, strip down to my birthday suit, and step on my scale. Its my favorite part of my morning routine.

Now, please bear with me here. I know a lot of people that are like “Oh, but youre so pretty, the scale doesnt define you…blah blah blah.”(see ‘inspirational’ picture below) Duh. Dont you think I know this? Obviously, Im not going to weigh myself one morning to¬†get a text message from my scale saying “Youre so beautiful”, or wake up to find out that Im 100 pounds lighter. Thats not logical. Ok, well maybe the text message thing is a thing. Im not Marty McFly, I dont know the future people!

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The scale is just an instrument. I get that, really I do. But the number that pops up every morning gives me a ton of information. And none of that information is cosmetic. Its science people!

My scale shows me if Im on the right track with my diet. It can tell me that even if I am doing well diet wise, that I may be a little bloated and shark week isnt too far off. It shows my patterns and trends. It lets me know that my body may be changing. It holds me accountable, and most importantly it keeps me grounded.

Because on top of taking my weight every morning, I take a mental assessment too. Am I happy?(The answer is usually no, because Im awake and havent had coffee yet) Am I constipated? Do I feel skinny? How does my hair look(Amazing, as usual). These kinds of questions prepare me for my day. Im not discouraged if I see weight gain, because thats information I can use to keep pushing myself forward, or maybe my diet/exercise routine has hit a plateau and I need to step up my game.

Those ‘inspirational’ people are right. The scale doesnt define me, I refuse to let it. But keeping a consistent log of my weight helps me finds patterns that can help me decipher different things about what my body is up to.

I guess its because of my medical background. Im going to school for medical coding and when it comes to my anatomy, I look at it in a medicinal sense. So every day, I get on the scale to see how Im changing, how I feel and where I can improve. Ya know, for science.

The body really is an amazing thing, what are you doing with yours?